The Letters of Anderson & Annabell

Postcards from the thin line between love, hate and sanity.

Monstee's Involvement

My Photo

In the early months of 2005, the Internet monster known as "Monstee" moved into a new cave to create a new blog site. Entering the cave, Monstee found that the former occupants had not cleaned out all their trash before they left. Most of the refuse was disposed of or eaten, but the monster did keep a very old dresser and wardrobe which dated back to the early disco era. While painting the wardrobe, a secrete compartment was discovered containing many reams and notebooks of assorted paperwork. Most of the documentation was illegible due to advance age, poor storage conditions, bad penmanship and exposure to monster saliva. The documents were given to the laboratories of Eden Ericson for reclamation and restoration. It is a slow process and contains many challenges. As each paper is reclaimed and deciphered, it will be posted here.

"It is our combined hope that when finished, we may all understand just what these papers represent and how they may better mankind," - Eden Ericson Jr. - Mad Scientist.

Friday, April 22, 2005

E.E. Entry 04222005

Special Note on items released in lot dated NO DATE ON THIS LOT.

Additional paperwork discovered and reclaimed at this time. Relationship to ongoing research and reclamation of "Letters" is unknown at this time. Paperwork appears to be draft of script/screenplay or work of fiction, but as of yet this is "working" theory.
----------
And what about me?
by (author's name unreclaimable)

"You started the cake without me?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"You were taking too long!!!!"
"But what about me????"
"YOU??? YOU??? There's no more for you!!!!!"
"Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaah!!" ::STOMP STOMP SLAM:: "Can I have some pie??"
"Yes."
"YAAY! How many pieces can I have?"
"Seventy eight."
"Yaaaaay!!! One, two..."

Two hours later...

"...seventy seven, seventy eight. Ugggh!! Mommy! I feel siBLAAH!! Waaah!! I threw up!!!!"
"BAD GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go to your room!!"
"Waaaaaaa!!" ::SLAM!::

Three hours later...

"Mommy blaah!! I barf blaah!! all thblah!!e time blaah!!"
"Time to go to the doctor."
"NOO!! Not Mr. Finkeldoodoo!!"
"But what's wrong with Mr. F?"
"He's mean and cruel and hates me!"
"You mean hates kids!"
"Yaa!"
"That's why he's dead."
"Hurray!!! But who's going to be my doctor?"
"Nobody. Why? You haven't thrown up for a whole page!!!"
"Blaaaaaah! Blaaaaah!!"
"OK, you're doctor will be Ms. Softbunny."
"Yaay! Blaah!!"
"Now!!!"

When they got inside...

"Blaaaaaaahaaacoughaaah!!!!!!!"
"You have got barfapobia."
"What does that do??"
"That (whisper whisper)"
"What?!?!?! That kills the kid?!?!?!?"
"What?!?! I'm going to DIE!"
"Yes. I'm very sorry... ummm, what is your name?"
"Rose."
"OK, so Rose you only have thirty minutes left till you die. Now it's twenty six more. Now twenty three. Now..."
"STOP!!! I don't want to know 'How many more minutes till'."
"Sorry. Now do you want to know?"
"No."

Ten minutes later...

"Now do you want to hear?"
"Yes."
"Twelve more."
"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!"

Ten minutes later...

"How many?"
"Two."
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Rose, Rose, ROSE!!"
"What?"
"You only have half a minute left."
"B... what about me!! If my daughter is going to die, I want to die too!!"
"Ok, let me get out my gun."
"Hurry up! My daughter is dieing here!!!!!"
"Sorry!! Any last words?"
"Yes. Three. JUST SHOOT ME!!!!!!!!!!"
::Bang:: ::Plop::
"Well, those were the only people who used me, AND WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!!"
::BANG::
"Ewww!! Mom, Ms. Softbunny? Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Now I have to live with my Dad! Or I could shoot myself... I'll go with that... Now where is that gun??? Ahha! Now face it on me, aim, and shoot!"
::BANG:: ::PLOP:: ::CRASH::

And then they were... look, a gun!
::BANG:: ::PLOP:: ::CRASH::

THE END Look, a gun!
::BANG::

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 7:04 PM | 1 comments

March, 25 1972

Dear Anderson,

You suck. How many hours did you spend in the bathroom today? WAIT! LET ME GUESS! all day. HOORAY! I'm right! You're a jerk. By the way, today I was elected class queen in english, math, science, gym, art, music, geometry, chemistry, physics, astronomy, computers, child care and everything else. You suck. Go away. Forever. You're a jerk. You're a drunk jerk who sucks with loud stinky farts. I lost weight yesterday. I think I did because I wished it all on you. So there you jerk.

Sincerely,
Annabell

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 6:57 PM | 0 comments

March, 27 1972

Dear Anderson,

You suck.

Sincerely,
Annabell

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 6:56 PM | 0 comments

March, 28 1972

Dear Annabell,

I AM NOT DRUNK! I DO NOT SUCK! I AM NOT A JERK! I AM NOT FAT! I DO NOT FART LOUD AND STINKY!

From
Anderson

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 6:54 PM | 0 comments

March, 30 1972

Dear Anderson,

You DO suck. You ARE drunk. You ARE fat. You ARE a jerk. You DO fart loud and stinky. AND... you're worth a piece of crap. Hey, that's a good thing to get Mr. Winkle's class to chant! "Anderson's worth a piece of crap! Anderson's worth a piece of crap!" YOU SUCK JEARKHEAD!

Sincerely,
Annabell

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 6:49 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

March 4, 1972

Dear Anderson,

Last time we met, you seemed very thoughtful. I didn't have the courage to do it then, so I'm doing it now.
Oh, by the way, YOU'RE AN INCONSIDERATE JERK AND I HATE YOU!
On your way next time you visit, get me some milk, butter, juice and ice cream. This time vanilla. GET VANILLA, YOU STUPID JERK! VANILLA!

sincerely,

Annabell.

P.S. Get a life, you jerk!

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 10:38 PM | 0 comments

March 10, 1972

Dear Anderson,

In class today, I got everyone (even Mr. Winkle) to chant "Anderson Sucks, Anderson Sucks". Boy, was I proud. By the way Anderson, YOU SUCK, JERKHEAD! If you farted, it'ed stink till 1990. So, you want to get together tomorrow night? If so, please respond. If not, GO DOWN, SUCKY JERK, BECAUSE I HATE YOU!

From,
Annabell

P.S. Your farts stink, jerky jerk jerk who sucks.

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 10:36 PM | 0 comments

March 12, 1972

Dear Annabell,

WHY MUST YOU GO ON WITH YOUR RANTING?!? WHY ME?!? YOU'RE LUCY AND I'M THE KID WHO LIKES BEETHOVEN!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST BREAK UP WITH ME?!? And yes, I'd love to see you tomorrow. I THINK YOU'RE WEIRD!

Signed,
Anderson.

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 10:34 PM | 0 comments

E.E. Entry 03152005

Special Note on items released in lot dated March 18, 1972.

First item appears to be a receipt from "Burrito Barn" for the home delivery of 100 Bean Burritos with extra beans in bean sauce and a side order of beans, to be delivered to the home of Anderson Jerky Jerk Jerkhead. A note from the manager is attached apologizing for not being able to "smother the whole thing in the most Hotty Hot HOT sauce in the world". On back of the note is written, "Ha Ha! They put it on the side. I know you did this Annabell! I love beans! I going to love eating all of these and not giving you ANY! HA HA!"

The second item is stapled to the receipt and note. It is a hospital emergency room admittance form under the name of Anderson. Reason: abdominal distention.

Eden Ericson Jr. 3/15/05

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 10:32 PM | 0 comments

March 19, 1972

Dear Anderson, aka person who takes two hours to crap,

YOUR SOOO STUUUPID! YOU SUCK AND YOUR A BIG FAT LIAR JERK!!! I HATE YOU, YOU JERK! I think I heard you in the boy's restroom today because I heard FAARRRTTTTT PLPLBHPLBHFFAAAAAAAAARRRTT as loud as an elephant. YOU SUCK, JERKY JERK JERK!!! I WISH YOU HAD A HEARTATTACK!!!!

From,
Annabell

posted by Eden Ericson Jr. | 10:30 PM | 0 comments